9th Ring of Hell - the BOR Version - Part Three

This is where my notes stop, so I will have to re-create the rest from memory. The despair persisted for a while. We munched on the snacks we had brought (individual-size packets of hummus and pita chips from Whole Foods – yummy). This is not enough, so Rach announces she is off to buy us some pizza, disappearing yet again and leaving me to my drooling. Having spent a good portion of my drooling time imagining the delicious combo of cheese and pepperoni, I am gravely disappointed to see Rachael return with hot dogs. She claims she could not find the pizza. I have seen 5000 sheep walk by with pizza I wanted to rip out of their hands. How could these morons all manage to succeed at this task but Rachael, with her significant IQ and stellar SAT scores (read: better than mine), fail? Ah – the paradox that is our Rach.

I send her back into the abyss to find ketchup. I am proud to say she found some which made the hot-dog-eating experience pleasurable, even if it wasn’t pizza. Food consumed, we check on the audition progress. Progress is a very flowery word for what was occurring. They were 3 and a half hours in and had made their way through 4 sections at the most. Our seats were in section 19 and these people started at section 1. At this rate they were going to pack up and go home before they ever got close to us.

Tension ran high in this part of the stadium. The first people in line, the crazies who had camped in the woods or merely driven around the stadium for hours until they were let in were facing the possibility of not being able to audition. I thought for sure I was going to get to see spontaneous combustion up close and personal.

Rach announced her intention to find a way to cheat. I go back to drooling. Another girl with a piece of stadium floor real estate near us went off on a recon mission. She returned with good news. A P.A. told her that everyone with a yellow wristband would be allowed to audition, the judges would stay all night if they had to. He also conceded there had been a fuck-up with the audition order. As Rach would eloquently respond - no-doy.