Everyone - thanks for all of your support! We survived and so did our cousinship. But it was, in a lot of ways, HELL ON EARTH. There is so much to say, and I'll blog more about it tonight (yesterday was full of amazing and hilarious moments) but alas, I did not make it past the first round.
Don't cry for me Argentina! It's all good. There were some bright moments (as well as very dark), not to mention some really informative behind the scenes Idol info we'll share a little later.
For now, it's back to the old day job (one that I enjoy thankfully). And I'll have to save my voice for the karaoke crowds =)
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Day 1: Wristband/Stadium heat torture chamber
Ok, now we're awake. We think it's still Saturday. We have food on the way. With a little sleep in us, we can now recount the days events in chronological order. This is all mostly true.
-->8:00 a.m.: We arrive at the Stadium but first need to go to the bathroom and decide McDonalds will do (for the record, ew.). We are thinking, yahoo, we're sooo on time. However, the entire clientele already has wristbands. We grilled women in the bathroom about i.d. strictness. They assured us this wasn't exactly TSA. Yay!
-->8:23 a.m.: We pull up to the stadium gates where the woman asks us for $10. A total shock to me. Brittani, "Rach? The cash?"....Rachael, "Me?".....Brittani, "I said it to you three times during the drive! I said, do you have cash? You said yes. I said $10? You said yes."......Rachael, "Really? I thought you said some cash? So no, I don't have $10." So they stopped all traffic for us so we could U-Turn out of there.
-->8:29 a.m.: Back to the parking gates where we had the woman $10.
-->8:35 a.m.: So all of the mental and emotional prepartion in the world can’t prepare you for the actual experience. I think the first shock went something like this, “Wow. That’s a long line. Um, we’ve been walking for awhile and we’re still not to the end of the line. Sucks.”
-->9ish: Start-up conversation with young girl who tried out four years ago but claims she was too young. She knew a lot about the audition process and gave our little line group a bunch of "advice." She declared she was singing Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You." We felt like that was wrong. But of course didn't say anything. This is a competition people!
-->around 9:30 a.m.: We get kind of annoyed with that group of people and discover that due to my cunning and size, I'm able to weave myself through the crowds everytime a new group was let in. Brittani was very impressed with my ability to lunge 2-3 groups ahead in the line everytime it moved. I told her it was due to a lifetime of being short. People glared.
-->9:45 a.m.: Some girl, "So wait how old are you?", Me, "27." ....Some girl, "Wait seriously?"....Me, "uh..yep."
-->10:00 a.m.: Me, "Oh my god Brittani look at that little dog!!"...Brittani, "Oh that is soooo cute...it's like a Chihuahua?"....Me, "Uh..nooo...duh...it's a Doberman.." ....Brittani, "No, it's not a Doberman. It's a Min-pin." Rachael, "Uh I don't know if you realize but they make really little Dobermans."...Brittani, "NO they DON'T they make Min-Pins.."....Me, "I'm hot..."
-->10:15 a.m.: “That girl is puking...wait...is she? Yes….there’s really no other reason to have half your body in a garbage can like that right?”
-->10:30ish..: They started selling bottled water for $4.50 a piece. People were disgusted. We tried to explain supply and demand - and that this was a reasonable price for this particular market. We're also suprised at how far along we are. We had originally ball parked HOURS. But things were moving. Mainly due to the cutting. This is about when Brittani started speculating how much more time we would have.
-->10:40ish...: Brittani guessing still....after the 11th, “You know what, we’re looking at another hour I bet….I think we’re not that close actually,” I responded, “Oh my god that is the equivalent of are we there yet – you need to stop saying that.”
-->10:50 a.m.: We see men in red! We see men in red! With ropes! This is when we charge! They lift the ropes. The poor bastards right behind us are ruthlessly cut off by the young men in red. They sigh. People are split up from families, the situation becomes real. We are in. A voice from above (God?) declares, "PLEASE HAVE YOU IDENTIFICATION IN HAND. IF YOU ARE 18 YEARS OLD OR YOUNGER YOU NEED TO HAVE YOUR LEGAL GUARDIAN WITH YOU. IF YOU DO NOT PLEASE LEAVE YOU ARE WASTING OUT TIME AND YOURS." I made the case that it was sort of all a big like, waster of all time, just being there.
-->10:51 a.m.:
Rach: We’re in!!
Brit: I lost my ID!**
Rach: OK, I have to go on without you!
** please note that the girls behind us were very nice and demanded the crowd part to look for Brittani's ID
Brit: Oh wait it’s in my back pocket.
-->10:52 a.m.: We're to a table! A woman is there, she greets us with a warm smile. I tell her that I love life. She gives us wristbands (yellow for me, silver for Brittani). She told us she got the job on Craigslist. She hands us a form with the next set of instructions. This is where we are unsure of our legal obligations -- but we learn the two songs our city is going to be singing for the cameras. Let's just say they rhyme with Balifornia Beamin, and Dime Docken on Mooshine (Brittani is telling me that doesn't actually rhyme...whatever).
-->11:00 a.m.: Trot past line with wristbands. Feel good about ourselves. Get grilled by to nice young men (gay?) and give them the schpiel. We are now among the people who are in the know. As still more gathered around to begin their journey, we were on to step two. Rachael/Brittani 1/Simon 0!!!
-->3:00 p.m.: We've inhaled burgers, cookie and icecream at Santa Monica hotspot The Counter. We're now on speaking terms again (3 hours in the sun, 3 hours in Southern California traffic, and completely empty stomachs make people disown each other..)
-->Now: Watching inspiring dream come true movies like the 1992 ice skating classic, "The Cutting Edge."
Tomorrow we have a lot of errands to get done, and then we're off to San Diego AGAIN to check-in to our hotel (thanks mom!). Our new instructions tell us to be at the stadium at 5 a.m.
Food's here! Until tomorrow!
PS - sorry no pictures. It was so hot and miserable that we literally spaced it.
-->8:00 a.m.: We arrive at the Stadium but first need to go to the bathroom and decide McDonalds will do (for the record, ew.). We are thinking, yahoo, we're sooo on time. However, the entire clientele already has wristbands. We grilled women in the bathroom about i.d. strictness. They assured us this wasn't exactly TSA. Yay!
-->8:23 a.m.: We pull up to the stadium gates where the woman asks us for $10. A total shock to me. Brittani, "Rach? The cash?"....Rachael, "Me?".....Brittani, "I said it to you three times during the drive! I said, do you have cash? You said yes. I said $10? You said yes."......Rachael, "Really? I thought you said some cash? So no, I don't have $10." So they stopped all traffic for us so we could U-Turn out of there.
-->8:29 a.m.: Back to the parking gates where we had the woman $10.
-->8:35 a.m.: So all of the mental and emotional prepartion in the world can’t prepare you for the actual experience. I think the first shock went something like this, “Wow. That’s a long line. Um, we’ve been walking for awhile and we’re still not to the end of the line. Sucks.”
-->9ish: Start-up conversation with young girl who tried out four years ago but claims she was too young. She knew a lot about the audition process and gave our little line group a bunch of "advice." She declared she was singing Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You." We felt like that was wrong. But of course didn't say anything. This is a competition people!
-->around 9:30 a.m.: We get kind of annoyed with that group of people and discover that due to my cunning and size, I'm able to weave myself through the crowds everytime a new group was let in. Brittani was very impressed with my ability to lunge 2-3 groups ahead in the line everytime it moved. I told her it was due to a lifetime of being short. People glared.
-->9:45 a.m.: Some girl, "So wait how old are you?", Me, "27." ....Some girl, "Wait seriously?"....Me, "uh..yep."
-->10:00 a.m.: Me, "Oh my god Brittani look at that little dog!!"...Brittani, "Oh that is soooo cute...it's like a Chihuahua?"....Me, "Uh..nooo...duh...it's a Doberman.." ....Brittani, "No, it's not a Doberman. It's a Min-pin." Rachael, "Uh I don't know if you realize but they make really little Dobermans."...Brittani, "NO they DON'T they make Min-Pins.."....Me, "I'm hot..."
-->10:15 a.m.: “That girl is puking...wait...is she? Yes….there’s really no other reason to have half your body in a garbage can like that right?”
-->10:30ish..: They started selling bottled water for $4.50 a piece. People were disgusted. We tried to explain supply and demand - and that this was a reasonable price for this particular market. We're also suprised at how far along we are. We had originally ball parked HOURS. But things were moving. Mainly due to the cutting. This is about when Brittani started speculating how much more time we would have.
-->10:40ish...: Brittani guessing still....after the 11th, “You know what, we’re looking at another hour I bet….I think we’re not that close actually,” I responded, “Oh my god that is the equivalent of are we there yet – you need to stop saying that.”
-->10:50 a.m.: We see men in red! We see men in red! With ropes! This is when we charge! They lift the ropes. The poor bastards right behind us are ruthlessly cut off by the young men in red. They sigh. People are split up from families, the situation becomes real. We are in. A voice from above (God?) declares, "PLEASE HAVE YOU IDENTIFICATION IN HAND. IF YOU ARE 18 YEARS OLD OR YOUNGER YOU NEED TO HAVE YOUR LEGAL GUARDIAN WITH YOU. IF YOU DO NOT PLEASE LEAVE YOU ARE WASTING OUT TIME AND YOURS." I made the case that it was sort of all a big like, waster of all time, just being there.
-->10:51 a.m.:
Rach: We’re in!!
Brit: I lost my ID!**
Rach: OK, I have to go on without you!
** please note that the girls behind us were very nice and demanded the crowd part to look for Brittani's ID
Brit: Oh wait it’s in my back pocket.
-->10:52 a.m.: We're to a table! A woman is there, she greets us with a warm smile. I tell her that I love life. She gives us wristbands (yellow for me, silver for Brittani). She told us she got the job on Craigslist. She hands us a form with the next set of instructions. This is where we are unsure of our legal obligations -- but we learn the two songs our city is going to be singing for the cameras. Let's just say they rhyme with Balifornia Beamin, and Dime Docken on Mooshine (Brittani is telling me that doesn't actually rhyme...whatever).
-->11:00 a.m.: Trot past line with wristbands. Feel good about ourselves. Get grilled by to nice young men (gay?) and give them the schpiel. We are now among the people who are in the know. As still more gathered around to begin their journey, we were on to step two. Rachael/Brittani 1/Simon 0!!!
-->3:00 p.m.: We've inhaled burgers, cookie and icecream at Santa Monica hotspot The Counter. We're now on speaking terms again (3 hours in the sun, 3 hours in Southern California traffic, and completely empty stomachs make people disown each other..)
-->Now: Watching inspiring dream come true movies like the 1992 ice skating classic, "The Cutting Edge."
Tomorrow we have a lot of errands to get done, and then we're off to San Diego AGAIN to check-in to our hotel (thanks mom!). Our new instructions tell us to be at the stadium at 5 a.m.
Food's here! Until tomorrow!
PS - sorry no pictures. It was so hot and miserable that we literally spaced it.
Soo sleepy...
Must........type.............blog entry.......
We were up at 5:30 a.m. this morning on the road to San Diego (about two hours).
Never fear! I am officially regirstered and Brittani is officially my guest. We have wristbands that say "American Idol" and have to wear them for the next day and half until we go back on Monday. I need to sleep now and will say more later, but I am pretty sure today was just a tast of the reality TV hell we are about to dive into on Monday. There are going to be A LOT of people there. Have you ever hung out with a large cross section of the American population that longs to be famous? I wouldn't recommend it. It's a bit of a freak show, however people were nice.
Back to sleep. More later. w00t!
We were up at 5:30 a.m. this morning on the road to San Diego (about two hours).
Never fear! I am officially regirstered and Brittani is officially my guest. We have wristbands that say "American Idol" and have to wear them for the next day and half until we go back on Monday. I need to sleep now and will say more later, but I am pretty sure today was just a tast of the reality TV hell we are about to dive into on Monday. There are going to be A LOT of people there. Have you ever hung out with a large cross section of the American population that longs to be famous? I wouldn't recommend it. It's a bit of a freak show, however people were nice.
Back to sleep. More later. w00t!
Friday, July 27, 2007
The Plot Thickens
As Rachael soars across the California sky, I feel I should admit something to you. I am ashamed to say it, but Rach isn't even here yet and I have already failed in my duties as the BOR. She called me from the airport, just as she was about to board and this conversation took place -
Rach - Am I supposed to have 2 forms of ID?
Me - Yes!
Rach - Crap.
The Idol rules clearly state this and I told Rachael even though she read the rules herself. But I told her last week. Rookie mistake. There should have been a strategy phone meeting last night in which I reminded her as well as a follow-up email today. As it stands, we are hoping that her undisclosed .com juggernaut work badge qualifies as the requisite second form of ID.
Will Rachael be allowed to audition? Check back tomorrow to find out.
Rach - Am I supposed to have 2 forms of ID?
Me - Yes!
Rach - Crap.
The Idol rules clearly state this and I told Rachael even though she read the rules herself. But I told her last week. Rookie mistake. There should have been a strategy phone meeting last night in which I reminded her as well as a follow-up email today. As it stands, we are hoping that her undisclosed .com juggernaut work badge qualifies as the requisite second form of ID.
Will Rachael be allowed to audition? Check back tomorrow to find out.
Support systems
Last week my co-workers organized a chance for me to practice some tunes via karaoke and work on my stage presence. And Erin (my manager) loaned me her camera as well!
Thanks co-workers. You guys are definitely in the running for a dedication on the show!!
Almost there!
In anticipation of this weekend, I created a haiku:
Tonight I take flight.
Soar and sing into my dreams.
One hit wonder – HO!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Get Well
As thousands prepare to descend upon San Diego to butcher many a classic tune -- one beloved standard will surely top many repertoires come audition time: At Last.
However NO ONE will ever touch the talent that is Etta James, who sang it best -- who is hospitalized right now in L.A. Feel better Ms. James!
And as Ali G. would say to those attempting to sing her songs this weekend, "Respek. West side."
However NO ONE will ever touch the talent that is Etta James, who sang it best -- who is hospitalized right now in L.A. Feel better Ms. James!
And as Ali G. would say to those attempting to sing her songs this weekend, "Respek. West side."
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
More Theories
Idol According to Me Cont'd
Season 2 - The "Busy Signal" Theory
So, here's my controversial theory on the Season 2 final - Clay actually won. The Idol powers that be were not prepared for millions of people voting in a close race. They simply didn't have enough phone lines. A "friend" of mine tried to vote for Clay on and off for a number of hours (no, it wasn't me - why do you think it was me?) and never once got through. I don't think either one is all that great (I told you - it wasn't me!), but Clay is clearly the stronger singer with the bigger fan base. Album sales only a few short months later bore this out. If Fox had ponied up for a few more phone lines, they could have monitored a fair race. They didn't, and my guess is it was a coin toss as to which one was lucky enough to have more calls get through. That season, however, set a future Idol precedent - forget who actually takes the crown on finale night, when it comes to Idol and everything else in a capitalist society, the marketplace has the last say. Clay took it in a landslide (for the last time - NOT ME!)
P.S. Ok. It was me. I got all enamored with his "Bridge Over Troubled Water" but I have never bought an album, have no songs on my ipod and in retrospect, think the guy is kind of a schmuck.
Season 2 - The "Busy Signal" Theory
So, here's my controversial theory on the Season 2 final - Clay actually won. The Idol powers that be were not prepared for millions of people voting in a close race. They simply didn't have enough phone lines. A "friend" of mine tried to vote for Clay on and off for a number of hours (no, it wasn't me - why do you think it was me?) and never once got through. I don't think either one is all that great (I told you - it wasn't me!), but Clay is clearly the stronger singer with the bigger fan base. Album sales only a few short months later bore this out. If Fox had ponied up for a few more phone lines, they could have monitored a fair race. They didn't, and my guess is it was a coin toss as to which one was lucky enough to have more calls get through. That season, however, set a future Idol precedent - forget who actually takes the crown on finale night, when it comes to Idol and everything else in a capitalist society, the marketplace has the last say. Clay took it in a landslide (for the last time - NOT ME!)
P.S. Ok. It was me. I got all enamored with his "Bridge Over Troubled Water" but I have never bought an album, have no songs on my ipod and in retrospect, think the guy is kind of a schmuck.
This is mostly for my aunt rose.....
But just in case anyone else is interested =)
1. Yes, we will be updating more frequently as actual things start happening that include: airplanes, hotels, pictures, what I eat before tryouts, impressions of other people in line, sing-offs (stay tuned!!) etc.
2. I only blog once-ish a day right now because I have a job.
3. We will be staying in L.A. Friday night, driving to San Diego Saturday a.m. to get in line for registration, heading back to L.A. that same day, I'll watch B.O.R. drink Saturday night, wake her up with "You Are My Sunshine" Sunday morning, perhaps find a spray tanning facility that afternoon (look I've never done it before but it seems to be the famous thing to do), and head on down to San Diego where I will be checking into my hotel. Then Monday morning we'll go back to face the crowds and hope and pray I get a chance to belt out some tunes to cynical underpaid British producers.
1. Yes, we will be updating more frequently as actual things start happening that include: airplanes, hotels, pictures, what I eat before tryouts, impressions of other people in line, sing-offs (stay tuned!!) etc.
2. I only blog once-ish a day right now because I have a job.
3. We will be staying in L.A. Friday night, driving to San Diego Saturday a.m. to get in line for registration, heading back to L.A. that same day, I'll watch B.O.R. drink Saturday night, wake her up with "You Are My Sunshine" Sunday morning, perhaps find a spray tanning facility that afternoon (look I've never done it before but it seems to be the famous thing to do), and head on down to San Diego where I will be checking into my hotel. Then Monday morning we'll go back to face the crowds and hope and pray I get a chance to belt out some tunes to cynical underpaid British producers.
An open letter to Clive Davis
Dear Mr. Davis,
Sounds like Kelly is being kind of a pain right now? She's super talented and stuff but thinks for herself, has artistic integrity, blah blah......but you and I both know those kind of virtuous attributes don't bring in the big bucks. Know what I mean?
So if I make it to Hollywood, and even crack the top 15, and you want to sign me - I solemnly swear to sing whatEVER you want me to. OK? I'll sing anything! Let's get this show on the road! And if you're thinking right now, "Sure that's what they all say at first, but then they get famous, sell some records, and want to earn some credibility with their art." - don't worry, won't happen with me. Let me put it to you this way: I really enjoy Celine Dion music and frankly still hum Hanson's Mmmbop song on the treadmill.
Can't wait to meet you in person!!
xo,
RH
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Mr. Sandman...
Instead of the cure for cancer or at least a brilliant way to fix my screenplay, I have been dreaming about Rachael's Idol chances. Two nights ago - Rachael went in and was not allowed to sing. They told her they already had someone of who fit her type. Luckily, aside from one weird earthquake thing in 1996, I have no psychic ability whatsoever.
From Brittani to Kelly
As a confessed Idolite who, sadly enough, has not missed one moment of coverage since June 11, 2002 (when Brian Dunkleman was psyched about the sweet hosting job he'd just scored), I feel this blog gives me an ideal platform to espouse some of my theories on the show. Ergo what follows is -
Idol According To Me
Season 1 - The 'Moment Like this Theory':
Without Kelly Clarkson, the show would never have survived to season 2. Simon Fuller, Fox et al are incredibly fortunate that out of that first pitiful talent pool arose the best all-around entertainer the show has seen to date. Without Kelly, would millions of people have tuned in to see a Justin Guarini (are you kidding me? this was the best they could do for second place? he wouldn't even make it to Hollywood these days)/Tamyra Gray (talented and seemingly sweet, but lacking star quality) final? Um. No. No, they wouldn't. And with the painful vocal stylings of the J-trio (RJ, AJ and EJay - anyone remember them?), not to mention those of Jim Verraros, without a Kelly performance to look forward to each week, I'm pretty sure America would have changed the channel for good by week 4 or so. Clive Davis should get off Kelly's back and remember how much money she's made him, not just from her own work but from everyone who has been lucky enough to follow in her Idol footsteps. She pretty much singlehandedly created the market for these people. Come on, Clive. She'll make hits again. This is a girl who beat a Beatle for a grammy. Would it kill you to let her do one the way she wants to?
Subsequent theories soon.
Idol According To Me
Season 1 - The 'Moment Like this Theory':
Without Kelly Clarkson, the show would never have survived to season 2. Simon Fuller, Fox et al are incredibly fortunate that out of that first pitiful talent pool arose the best all-around entertainer the show has seen to date. Without Kelly, would millions of people have tuned in to see a Justin Guarini (are you kidding me? this was the best they could do for second place? he wouldn't even make it to Hollywood these days)/Tamyra Gray (talented and seemingly sweet, but lacking star quality) final? Um. No. No, they wouldn't. And with the painful vocal stylings of the J-trio (RJ, AJ and EJay - anyone remember them?), not to mention those of Jim Verraros, without a Kelly performance to look forward to each week, I'm pretty sure America would have changed the channel for good by week 4 or so. Clive Davis should get off Kelly's back and remember how much money she's made him, not just from her own work but from everyone who has been lucky enough to follow in her Idol footsteps. She pretty much singlehandedly created the market for these people. Come on, Clive. She'll make hits again. This is a girl who beat a Beatle for a grammy. Would it kill you to let her do one the way she wants to?
Subsequent theories soon.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Saturday, July 21, 2007
A special day
Dear Dad,
Happy birthday to you today! I appreciate you for many reasons but in my current, focused state of mind during the run-up to stardom, the following are top of mind:
-- Your sense of humor: I think it's clear you've handed down a similar cleverness to moi, and that can only bode well for me when producers are looking beyond the voice at the personality.
-- Your great grandmother (I think?): I think I heard one time that we have an opera singer in the family. I have a feeling bringing Paula to tears will not be a problem with talent like that in my gene pool.
-- Your luck of the Irish: oops. We're not Irish, we're Jewish. Hmmm....Jews have not been that lucky historically.......hmmm.....crap......wait a minute! They have in Hollywood! w00t! Thanks Dad!
All my love,
Rach
Happy birthday to you today! I appreciate you for many reasons but in my current, focused state of mind during the run-up to stardom, the following are top of mind:
-- Your sense of humor: I think it's clear you've handed down a similar cleverness to moi, and that can only bode well for me when producers are looking beyond the voice at the personality.
-- Your great grandmother (I think?): I think I heard one time that we have an opera singer in the family. I have a feeling bringing Paula to tears will not be a problem with talent like that in my gene pool.
-- Your luck of the Irish: oops. We're not Irish, we're Jewish. Hmmm....Jews have not been that lucky historically.......hmmm.....crap......wait a minute! They have in Hollywood! w00t! Thanks Dad!
All my love,
Rach
Friday, July 20, 2007
Repertoire
So when people find out about my trip to American Idol, the first question they ask is, “What song are you singing?” This is a valid question, but I feel the need to put the speculation to rest:
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Scandalous
You know how every season of Idol has its "racy photos"? Usually involves girls taking shots off each other or nakedness. I kind of hope this is the one that sets off a firestorm around spandex.
The Fine Print
As the Rachael-Brittani Show's official Source of Common Sense (just one of my many titles - we're a low budget operation here), I feel it is incumbent upon me to read through the aforementioned release form we all know Rachael will sign no matter what I tell her. At least someone will know what she's agreed to, so that when they tell her she has to strip for the Pay-Per-View special "Idol Gone Wild" she doesn't just say "Crap" and start taking her bra off.
First red flag comes in the second paragraph of a 3 page document. This may take awhile. Rachael grants the Producer "the irrevocable right, but not the obligation, WITH OR WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE, to film, tape and/or photograph, record..." With or without her knowledge? Rachael. For the love of God. And all those associated with you. PLEASE keep scatalogical talk to a minimum.
In the same paragraph, the Producer retains the right to use Rachael's image and/or likeness for all merchandising, and specifically adds "including slot machines". Slot machines! With Rachael's face! Oh please, oh please, oh please. Be advised, however, that three Rachaels in a row wins you two front row tickets to Celine Dion. Proceed with caution.
Rachael grants all rights "forever and throughout the universe". They're going to love her on Xenu.
Further down the first page - "I understand that I may reveal, and other parties may reveal, information about me that is of a personal, private, embarrassing or unfavorable nature..." Ok, 1) These people have NO idea what they're getting into with Rachael, I wish them the best and 2) All you 'other parties' are welcome to begin submitting information as of now.
They continue on to say that this information may expose Rachael to humiliation. They clearly do not know her at all.
It gets pretty boring after that. You know what Rach? Sign away. (I would mention retaining a team of lawyers if anything goes wrong, but we want the American Idol people, if any of them are watching at any point, to know that we are entirely NON-LITIGIOUS)
First red flag comes in the second paragraph of a 3 page document. This may take awhile. Rachael grants the Producer "the irrevocable right, but not the obligation, WITH OR WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE, to film, tape and/or photograph, record..." With or without her knowledge? Rachael. For the love of God. And all those associated with you. PLEASE keep scatalogical talk to a minimum.
In the same paragraph, the Producer retains the right to use Rachael's image and/or likeness for all merchandising, and specifically adds "including slot machines". Slot machines! With Rachael's face! Oh please, oh please, oh please. Be advised, however, that three Rachaels in a row wins you two front row tickets to Celine Dion. Proceed with caution.
Rachael grants all rights "forever and throughout the universe". They're going to love her on Xenu.
Further down the first page - "I understand that I may reveal, and other parties may reveal, information about me that is of a personal, private, embarrassing or unfavorable nature..." Ok, 1) These people have NO idea what they're getting into with Rachael, I wish them the best and 2) All you 'other parties' are welcome to begin submitting information as of now.
They continue on to say that this information may expose Rachael to humiliation. They clearly do not know her at all.
It gets pretty boring after that. You know what Rach? Sign away. (I would mention retaining a team of lawyers if anything goes wrong, but we want the American Idol people, if any of them are watching at any point, to know that we are entirely NON-LITIGIOUS)
It starts
Tickets are purchased! I depart from
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